There is not a day where I cant find Happiness

So I was just looking over my blog and realized that the majority of my posts are of the deeper nature and could be misinterpreted as sad or depressive.  I do not want anyone to be under the impression that this is nothing short of an amazing experience for me!  So below are just some of the awesome highlights of this trip:

• There is a waterfall on campus that I climb regularly
• I went to my first pro sport game... and it was RUGBY! (I want to play)
• I see Zebras regularly but they never cease to excite me
• Trips to game reserves are common along with exotic animal sitings
• We have a 90 foot slip n slide!
• I am constantly surrounded by nature and places to explore
• I can go days without having to put any type of footwear on
• Spontaneous events such as sleeping outside or Water Rugby with the guys
• There are amazing people here and I love getting to know them
• Gods got a major sense of humor therefore I laugh
• Mints are available at all times during class

These are but a few things that make this semester incredible!

My Empathy

A series of unfortunate events have brought to light things within myself i have not seen in a long time.  Empathy, for some is just a term used when they can relate to someone, for me it is an instinct that rips me out of my own skin and places me in a position where I experience the happiness and more importantly pain of others.  It is not intentional or even conscious because honestly at times i would not choose to feel the suffering that I do but I would never trade my Empathy.  It is a part of me, an aspect of my character that defines part of my existence.  It is a strength as well as a weakness.  At times it comforts me and at times I am so frustrated with my ability to feel but inability to do anything about it.  I hate being helpless to help, there are those situations where I feel the pain others are feeling but I am not in a position to act.  It is those times where my heart is tortured and I must pray in order to keep from being sane!
I am not sure if this makes any sense to anyone but me, or even why I am writing this on my blog. but this is my way of understanding myself...

"Morning Fog"

It is these mornings hours that the fog sits with peace.  I watch them as they gracefully intertwine creating a fantastical world belonging only to the early risers.  The fog swirls around these hills exiling the distant behind its walls and capturing this very moment for but a short amount of time.  Peace sits in the trees and quiets all but the soft chorus of the woods.  An orchestra of bugs and the choir of birds together play her a melody that gives Peace her name, and she kindly permits me to listen.  but the sun climbs higher and the morning fog fades, and peace gracefully slips away leaving me with a small companion for the day...

Proof of Truth: "Faith and Reality"

     Is faith simply a construct of our minds?  Is everything I believe just a fairytale that someones mind dreamed into reality centuries ago and now that reality has become my own? Is it all just a dream?
     I say NO!  There are some things that i know for sure, even if my reality really is just a fantasy.  I know for sure there is a God, and not just because i feel Him.  It is so evident that there is a higher power that has created life.  If one just looks internally at the power to think he cannot but come to the conclusion that there is some kind of God.  It believe it is stupidity to think otherwise.  However it is the story and character of God that is so hard to rationaly defend.  I know it as truth for myself but how can i prove it absolute truth.  I do not want to be of a "blind faith".  I will not be another brainwashed follower lacking the ability to question "truth".  I know I am not educated enough to establish a rational argument for the truth of  Jesus and this is why i must question it.  Not because I do not believe but because I DO, and wish not to believe blindly.  I know there is evidence out there and it is my duty as a christian and I believe as a human to find truth and its supporting evidence.

Braveheart

 I just finished watching Braveheart.  An inspiring story of a common man rising up to lead Scotland to freedom.  A man who was known by every on of his country men and stories were told of him even when he was still yet alive. 
It made me think, how long has it been since we have had a national hero.  Sure we idolize actors, athletes, and musicians but when was the last time there was a man who inspired a country? Not by looks or by his talents but by his wit and his very living.  It is people like William Wallace who create change.  These people are not politicians, it is not merely a  job for them.  They are individuals who live out their convictions in such a way that others cannot help but be inspired.  I can only hope to be a piece of what these great men of history were.  I can only pray that my story is one worth writing and maybe even reading again when I am long gone and the memories faded.  Will my story be one worth keeping?

(P.S: I recognize the fact the movie adds a good amount of fictional events to the actual reality of Wallace's life)

Typhoid Fever

It has been almost a week now.  One week of miserable symptoms.  It started with a loss of appetite but then a fever burst within my head, but it left as quickly as it came taking with it all my energy and leaving me lethargic for two days.  Now I am left with stomach pains and movements whenever I eat.  I fear this may be something worse than I hoped.  All these symptoms are characteristics of typhoid fever, except I dont have a high fever, but this possibility slightly worries me...
So I've been praying alot, but i feel guilty because I didnt come to God when I had a fever or lack of energy.  Its only when I start getting scared that I start really talking to Him about it.  In my helplessness I find comfort in prayer, of course i pray for healing but then what if its God's plan for to be sick?  So instead of asking for just healing, i pray for peace that God does exactly what he wants with me...  That is all I can do, and honestly being in that spots thrills me... even if I have typhoid fever!

The next day...
I have gone the whole day without symptoms.  I cant just blow this off like no big deal.  God worked his small miracle and healed me from my affliction.  I love that there are always lessons to be learned...
I wonder if God enjoys bringing me to these points where I am almost asking for unfortunate events? (T Fever)

I Could Live Here

    Grassy plateaus and mountains tower over my head as I stand upon this boulder so big that only God himself could move it.  Rushing water hums its melody as it flows 20 feet beneath me.  I sit down to bask in the sun who will be wrestled out of the sky by the approaching thunderclouds that been waiting so luminous on the horizon.  I slide down the rock face, scratching up my stomach, and jump into the water.  The current greets me by sweeping me off my feet and I am embraced by the cool waters.  I curl up into a ball to see how far this river would take me.  It throws me against rocks and the flips me over and over until it is through with me.  I stand up and a flash of lightning paints the hills followed by its war drums.  I feel a drop of rain as I drag myself out of the river and stare at the opposing clouds.  "I could live here!" escaped my mouth and I continued down the path...

A Note from Natalie & Kari...

Monkey Wars

Dear Monkeys,

We were warned to be wary of you.  We were warned of your cunning and thievery.  We were advised to prepare ourselves for battle, but we did not head these warnings and now you have humiliated us.  You have scared the women and eyed down the men, you have stolen the avocados and pooped in Mitch's bed, you have attacked our masculinity and questioned our humanity... but No More! We will no longer be gripped by fear of the possibility that you have invaded our rooms and desecrated the possessions we hold dear.  We will shut our windows and lock our doors, we will make our weapons and grow our beards, we will be the bigger monkey.  Beware oh monkeys of what is to come, guard your children, watch you backs, and sleep with one eye open... because if you continue these invasions we will retaliate, we will fight back, and we will prevail.
This Is War!

Sincerely

The Men of SA Semester

All Wrong...

I realized today that i came into this trip with the wrong attitude.  People would ask me "what do you want to get out of this trip?" and i would give them some answer like to learn about a new culture or expand my worldview, but i had it all wrong.  This semester is not about what i can learn here its about what i can do here.  This isn't even about me, I believe God has blessed me with this experience so that i can do whatever i can for the people of South Africa.  The selfishness of my expectations are what have been causing this loneliness and frustration within me, but i realize my mistake  and is is time to approach every situation thinking about what I can do for others and forget about my own selfish endeavors.

First Morning

A journal entry the first morning at the pietermeritzburg campus...

Its the first morning of our stay here at African Enterprise, and me and the other guys went on a run at 6 am (we were still suffering from 10 hr jet-lag).  Shortly into the game reserve we spotted a zebra in the mist, however it disapeared as fast as it appeared.  Just a few minutes later we were jogging past a pack of them only a few feet away.  As we continued we discovered another zebra as well as a couple antelope.  Oddly enough i felt comfortable running beside these legendary creatures, like it was my natural instinct, what I was made to do.  Others around me did not feel quite as safe, at one point one of the guys began sprinting in fear when the zebra began to gallup next to us.  I believe they were merely being playful and racing him, but his showed that he didnt think them playful.  I could be satisfied with just this great experience of man integrating into nature, however this is just the first morning and there are many more to come.

South African History

Since I landed in Africa it has been a whirlwind of events.  Our group of 55 boarded a buss and drove into Johannesburg to a local hotel in which we hunkered down for the night.  The 10 hour time difference made it difficult to sleep in past five (but i cant complain).  The following day we embarked on a tour of Soweto (a part of Johannesburg where the blacks were exiled during the segregation during the 1900's). Although there were many poor areas i was surprised of the lack of beggars instead of being bombarded by desperate people pleading for money we were constantly greeted my smiling faces yelling "Welcome, Welcome!"  The people there seemed so optimistic, like despite there impoverished circumstance they still hold to some hidden hope that through time they may better their lives.  At the end of the tour we stopped at the apartheid museum.  The apartheid is the racist rule of the government over the south africans up until Nelson Mandelas take over in the 1990's. I was disgusted by the white mans total disregard for the native blacks.  I was also inspired by the story of nelson mandela, he is truly an inspiring man with vision 100 times greater than anything i have ever dreamed of.   I am in awe of his sacrifice for his people, his country, and ultimately humanity.  A modern legend who dedicated his life to  a cause he believed in and never did he faulter.

A Fairytale Life

I am in South Africa.  Just being here seems to have changed my outlook on life a small bit.  Being in Africa was a kind of goal of mine since high school, but i never imagined myself here at 18... its just not real. 
My current circumstance has redefined "In God all things are possible."  I have just done the impossible and it is only through surrender to God that it happened.  I am like a child realizing that all his fantasies and imagination can and will be reality!  I am living a fairytale life, and i cannot wait for the rest of my story to unfold...

Growing Feeling

As time approaches for me to board a plane to South Africa, Ive got this growing feeling that change is coming.  I know that within these next 4 months who I am will forever be altered by the experiences i have there.  I cannot begin to express the excitement i have felt for so long... People have asked me "are you nervous?" and i honestly can say that there is no nervousness within me!  I am not afraid of anything this trip will  bring but openly accept the good, bad, and neutral events that i will face.  In one week I will be in south africa, in one week my life will yet again begin to change!

Through The Eyes of a Child

What if i viewed everything as i did when i was a child? What if i found beauty and interest in anything that could fit in my hand, and what if i found satisfaction in any environment I'm in. What if everything was a new adventure? I want to see through the eyes of a child.  I want to be free of the blinders that age has put on my mind.